Sad day

This is such a hard day, in fact this has been a really hard last 4 days.

It all started when I couldn't find anyone to watch my dog (Seiko) for labor day weekend and I had told my parents that I would drive down to College Station to see them. When I told my little brother that I didn't have a dog sitter, he got really excited about the idea of me bringing Seiko down there for a visit. As you can tell from my profile picture Seiko is huge. He is an English mastiff that weighs in at about 150lbs. He truly is the light of my life. I know it sounds crazy, but I get way more attached to animals than I do people... This has been a big problem in my life that I have continuously tried to work on. Unfortunately it still remains the same. Well, back to the story. Seiko is amazing all the time except there is one thing that he is really bad at, and that's traveling. He is flat out terrible when it comes to road trips! This is a really bad thing to say, but it's like locking a mentally challenged person in a dark closet, you would except them to freak out because they don't understand what's going on. Well, that's the only way I can really explain traveling situations with Seiko. He is not an aggressive dog, until he gets in the car and he just goes nuts. Well because of a lack of other options I decided to go against my gut feelings and load him up for the long haul. He demolished the interior of my Xterra, ripped it all to shreds, well only the back half because I have a metal cage type barrier between the drivers seat and the back, that I put up while he has to be in the back. So while I was down there I decided that something had to be done. I called a vet and he said that it would be OK to give Seiko some medicine to make him mellow out during the way home. It worked wonderful for about 7 hours, but on the last little bit of the trip he started acting up again. Naturally I thought he needed to go to the bathroom, so Kevin and I pulled over to let him out. It was really dark outside on the old country road between Post and Robertson, Kevin had his back to me (while he was peeing by the fence.. gross yes, but he had to go and there were no bathrooms around.) I opened the back latch for Seiko to jump out and he did, then he jumped right back in. I said, "Seiko, come on, we are almost home, one last stop." I then turned around and started walking down the ditch, in hopes that he would follow me. I heard something coming at me so I looked back and right about then Seiko leaped up, and like a grown man could, pushed me down. I kind of tripped, but didn't fall and then he started biting me over and over. I put my ear to my shoulder so he couldn't get my neck, so then he bight my shoulder and my back, 2 or 3 times. By this time Kevin caught up to us and pulled Seiko off of me. Kevin like a super hero, choked Seiko until he quite fighting and then told me to get in the car and he then put Seiko in the back and we headed for the house. Nothing on my back is all that bad, but it did draw blood and apparently that makes it a big deal. Kevin was ready to shoot him when we got to his house and I threw a huge fit and begged him to wait and I would have a vet put him down in the morning. The next morning came and I went to tell Seiko good bye and it flat out ripped my heart out when he was acting like his, sweet, loving, loyal, normal self. I told Kevin that I couldn't do it and that we would just have to figure out something else. So we both left Seiko at my moms house in the backyard while we went to work. While at work I decided that he does need to be put down. I know he is acting great now, and he did act great for the past 4 years, but one time is all it takes to kill someone. If Kevin hadn't been there to pull him off of me, there is no telling what would have happend. Plus, what if it was my little brother instead of me? I have always said that a dog needes to know his place and that even though you may love him more than anything in the world, you still need to teach him right from wrong. Kevin says it's like a 2 year old running around with a loaded gun, he might not mean to hurt anyone, and he might not understand what he is doing, but it is not a safe situation. I think that is exactly right! I can't morally give Seiko away knowing that he has this in him, but I can't justify keeping him either.

Well, I made the call, and I decided that Kevin could take him to the vet sometime today while I was at work so I didn't know where or when, I would just know that when I get off work at 5:00 Seiko would be gone. That way I could get through work without too many tears and then be able to have the night to cope with the situation. Well, Kevin just called and said that he has left the vet and that the dog is still with him. WHAT? I made the hardest decistion I have ever had to make and the vet won't even do it. The vet said that because Seiko bite me that they have to do a whole battery of Rabies tests which involves cutting off his head and mailing it to a test center where they then take his head apart an make sure that there is no rabies. WHAT? I'm really sorry but I am not going to have that. So here's the plan, Kevin is going right now to take him to another vet clinic where he is going to Lie and say that Seiko has become more and more aggressive and that we are afraid of what he might do. Then hopefully they will put him down and not think twice about it. I know for a fact that my dog doesn't have rabies. I know it's bad to lie, but what else do you do in this situation. I can't handle the alternitive of having his head cut off and mailed somewhere, and I also can't handle the idea of him being shot in the field and just left there to be eatin by any creature that finds him. So we are going to lie.... SORRY GOD! I truely believe that he understand this one. Dogs die everyday, I know this. But it's kind of hard to make the decistion on your own. To hold another beings life in your hands and choose to end it is a really tuff thing.

Life is going to be lonley for a while and I'm sure I will miss Seiko very much. He is the best dog I have ever had and I am so very sorry that it is ending like this. I can't wait to meet him in heaven and explain the situation. I really think, if the roles were reversed he would do the same thing. God knows his heart. He will be in a better place. I have to keep telling myself that. Too bad we don't have mentall hospitals for dogs. HA HA. That's a crazy thought, but it's valid when your putting a dog down for a mental issue.

Hopefully my next post will be happier.